


Perfect For Me

by samjsjlove



Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: Bottom Jared, First Time, M/M, Virgin Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-08
Updated: 2014-03-08
Packaged: 2018-01-15 00:34:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1284607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samjsjlove/pseuds/samjsjlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for <a href="http://spn-hardcore.livejournal.com/639323.html?thread=2439259#t2439259">this prompt </a>at <a class="i-ljuser-profile" href="http://spn-hardcore.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://spn-hardcore.livejournal.com/"></a><b>spn_hardcore</b>. After Jared’s boyfriend dumps him for not having sex with him, Jared decides that his best friend, Jensen, is the best person to lose his virginity to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to [](http://moviegeek03.livejournal.com/profile)[**moviegeek03**](http://moviegeek03.livejournal.com/)for the beta! Thank you for catching all my silly mistakes, hun! And thanks also for helping with the title!
> 
> Warning: AU. Very, very slight underage (Jensen is 18 and Jared is 17, although does turn 18 during the course of the fic). Wouldn't be underage in the UK and some US states... But the warning is there anyway.

Jared makes his way home, trying desperately to keep his tears at bay. When he gets to his house, he can’t bear the thought of going in and having to face his parents and tell them what had happened.

Jared looks over at the house next to his. He can see the light on in the upstairs bedroom and starts climbing the trellis at the side of the house, like he’s done so many times before.

Jared can see Jensen sitting at his desk, pretending to do his homework while listening to music.

He taps on the window, trying to get Jensen’s attention – not exactly an easy feat with the loud music blaring in Jensen’s ears.

The tapping does, however, finally catch Jensen’s attention and he stands up, removes the ear buds, and goes to open the window.

“Hey, Jared. What’s up?” Jensen greets, nonchalantly. It’s not exactly an unusual occurrence - Jared showing up at his window.

Jared climbs into Jensen’s room and turns to look desolately at Jensen.

“Jared, what’s wrong?” Jensen asks, suddenly full of concern for his best friend.

Jensen knows Jared better than anyone on the planet and Jared knows that he’d never be able to hide how he’s feeling from him. Jensen can always tell what kind of mood Jared’s in from just one look.

“Austin broke up with me,” Jared sobs, no longer able to keep in his tears. He doesn’t really mind in front of Jensen though. Jensen’s been there through all his highs and lows, and Jared’s been there for Jensen’s.

“Oh, Jared,” Jensen says, leading Jared over to his bed and sitting him down. Jensen sits next to him and puts his arm around Jared’s shoulder, trying to comfort the younger boy. “What happened?”

“I was over at his place,” Jared starts, “watching a movie in his room and…y’know...things started getting physical.” Jared blushes. He isn’t exactly a prude or anything; he just doesn’t exactly feel comfortable talking about these sorts of things. However he knows he could talk about them with Jensen. “I stopped him though. Before it got too far.”

Jensen waits for Jared to continue but then prompts, “What happened then?” when he doesn’t.

“He got pissed off. Said he was sick of this ‘going slow shit’,” Jared says with air quotes around the words. “But I told him I wasn’t ready,” he says looking into Jensen’s eyes. “That just made him even madder. He said that if I didn’t put out soon, he’d go looking somewhere else. I’m just not ready Jen,” Jared finishes, looking at his friend hopelessly.

“Oh, Jared,” replies Jensen, pulling Jared into a somewhat awkward hug. “Austin’s an asshole. Seriously. He does not deserve you. And he shouldn’t push you into something you’re not ready for. Okay? You’re better off without him,” Jensen says kindly, trying to console his friend.

“Yeah,” Jared sighs, not really sounding all that convinced.

A thought occurs to him then. “Hey, wait,” Jared sniffles. “Didn’t you have plans with Shane tonight?” he asks, wiping away some of his tears.

“Eh. We broke up,” Jensen replies with a shrug of his shoulders.

“I’m sorry Jensen.” Jared looks up apologetically at Jensen through his bangs.

Jensen smiles and brushes the hair out of Jared’s face. “I’m not. Not really. He was a cool guy, but we just didn’t really click, y’know? And it wasn’t really anything serious.”

Jared nods and looks down at where he’s playing nervously with a thread on Jensen’s bedspread.

“You wanna order pizza and numb the pain with ice-cream?” Jensen suggests. Just as he hopes, it brings a small smile to Jared’s face. “I’ll even watch one of those sappy chick-flicks you love so much...”

Jared nudges him with his shoulder but he doesn’t disagree.

Jensen orders the pizza and Jared texts his mom to tell her that he’s hanging out at Jensen’s. Jensen borrows a DVD from Mackenzie that she assures him will mend a broken heart. Jensen puts _The Notebook_ in his DVD player and lies down on his bed next to Jared, bringing him in towards his chest.

Jared spends most of the film crying into his tub of Ben and Jerry’s and Jensen mentally curses out Mackenzie for telling him to watch this film. It’s supposed to cheer Jared up; not make him even more depressed!

Jensen sighs as the end credits start to roll. He very much doubts that he succeeded in his mission to cheer Jared up so he suggests watching another movie. A Disney film this time because, really. You can never go wrong with Disney.

Another trip to Mackenzie’s room leaves Jensen with his sister’s DVD of _Tangled_ , and he hopes that this is better than _The Notebook_.

When the film is over, Jensen’s happy to see that Jared has stopped crying and is even smiling a little. He knew Disney wouldn’t fail him.

“I’d better head home,” Jared says, sitting up on Jensen’s bed and stretching his long arms above his head. “It’s getting kinda late.”

“Yeah.”  Jensen climbs off of the bed. “Seriously Jared,” Jensen continues as he moves around to his friend, “Austin is a class A jerk. You can do so much better. You deserve someone who treats you well and will wait forever for you to be ready.”

Jared nods, blinking away tears that have started up in his eyes. “Thanks Jen,” Jared says, smiling slightly. He gives Jensen a bone-crushing hug and leaves Jensen’s room, through the door this time.

~*~

Two weeks after the break-up finds Jared and Jensen graduating High School along with all their friends.

It had been hard for Jared that first Monday back at school, seeing Austin for the first time since the break-up. It was even harder seeing him pressed up against a cheerleader, whispering in her ear while she giggled. Jensen was right beside him though, the whole time, giving him support and a listening ear when he needed it.

And now they’ve graduated High School and Jared wouldn’t say he’s over the whole thing, but he’s definitely feeling a lot better. His whole group of friends has helped him move on – seeing Austin as the dick he is. More than ever, he’s glad that he has stuck to his guns and didn’t give in to Austin.

Most of the school, or at least all their friends, and friends of their friends, and people that they’re friendly with, go to Chad’s house the evening of their graduation to celebrate. Along with lots of booze.

He’s not really sure how it happens, but Jared finds himself in the middle of a game of ‘I never’ with the circle of his close friends.

Everything starts off normal and vanilla. Things like, “I’ve never cheated on a test,” but inevitably the things end up being sexual.

“I’ve never sucked cock,” Chris slurs out, smirking when Jensen, Sophia and Danneel all have to drink. Misha gets a few shocked looks when he also drinks but he just shrugs his shoulders.

Jared can tell that everyone expects him to drink too and he feels kind of awkward that he’s not, a blush creeping up his face.

“Yeah, well, I’ve never gone down on a girl,” counters Jensen, looking smugly over at Chris.

Chris doesn’t seem all too impressed that Jensen’s using his tricks when he, Steve, Mike, Tom, Chad and Misha all have to drink.

Jared knows that he was the least experienced in their group of friends but he has never quite realized how experienced the others were. It seems that Jared is the only one left stranded on first base.

Chad looks really smug when it comes to his turn. “I’ve never kissed a dude.”

Jared’s a little relieved that he can finally drink to something. He lifts his drink to his lips and sees Jensen, Sophia, Danneel, Sandy, Misha and surprisingly Mike and Tom doing the same.

The whole group stares at Mike and Tom in surprise.

“We were bored and wanted to see what it was like,” Mike answers with a shrug.

Danneel is the next one to go with, “I’ve never had sex with Chad.”

Sophia glares at Danneel as she drinks and the rest of the group laugh.

“Y’all are just jealous,” Chad declares, pulling Sophia into his side.

Sandy is the next one to go. She simply says, “I’ve never lost my virginity.”

Everyone in the group drink except for Jared and Sandy and Jared’s really glad that he’s not the only one in their group that hasn’t lost their virginity. Of course he knows that most of the others have had boyfriends/girlfriends but he doesn’t really talk about sex with them. He only talks about sex with Jensen.

When it comes around to Jared’s turn, he really wishes they’d stuck to the boring stuff. That way he wouldn’t seem like such a prude.

Fortunately for Jared, before he comes up with something to say they’re interrupted and invited to a beer pong tournament. Jared quickly gets on board with that suggestion. Beer pong he can do.

~*~

Jared spends the next few days, once he’s recovered from his hangover, thinking about that game of ‘I never’ and his relationship with Austin.

He’s not a naive idiot. He knows what goes on at those types of parties.

At house parties, and, well any party with booze really, there are always people sneaking off to fool around. In High School those kinds of parties aren’t really all that common seeing as how you have to wait till your parent’s are out of town and trust you enough to be home alone. At college though there are loads of parties every weekend. Everyone always says that college is the time for experimenting so he’s sure that a lot of sex goes on at parties.

Jared doesn’t consider himself a prude and he’s not really all that religious or anything, but he had just always imagined his first time being with someone special; someone he really cares about. And, well, maybe that is a little naive of him.

He doesn’t really like the thought that he might go to college and end up having sex with some random guy that he doesn’t care about.

He supposes the solution to that would be to lose his virginity before going to college.

That would solve a lot of issues, Jared thinks. He wouldn’t be always worried about going too far or doing stuff with someone he doesn’t really care about. If he loses his virginity before college, he’ll be free to experience college the way most kids his age do.

After deciding that he will, in fact, lose his virginity before college, Jared thinks about who his first would be. He still doesn’t like the idea of it not being with someone special, so some random guy wouldn’t do.

Jared is pacing his room, thinking about whom his first should be when he looks out of his window and sees Jensen across the way in his own room.

It makes perfect sense to Jared. Jensen is his best friend in the entire world and there is no one he trusts more. And he really does love Jensen. It’s not the kind of love he has always hoped to feel about the first guy he had sex with, but he does love him all the same.

And Jensen has experience. From what Jensen’s told him, he doesn’t have a lot of experience but he has had sex before so he’ll know what he’s doing. And he’ll take care of Jared; it’s guaranteed. Jensen always takes care of Jared.

The more Jared thinks about it, the more it makes sense and before he even knows what he’s doing he’s going over to Jensen’s house.

“The door?” Jensen asks with a quirked eyebrow from his desk chair when Jared comes in his room. “That’s so boring.”

“Haha,” Jared replies. Now that he’s over here, putting his not-even-planned plan into action he can feel apprehension building in his stomach.

Jared sits on Jensen’s bed and immediately starts playing with stray threads on the bed spread.

“Jared? What’s up?” Jensen asks, a little confused by his friends behavior.

“Um, well. I just- I, uh. I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” Jared finally manages to get out.

“About...?” Jensen asks, starting to sound amused.

“Well the thing is. I’m a virgin, right? And I’m always waiting for the perfect guy and the perfect time and really, that’s probably just never going to happen. And I don’t really wanna go off to college and lose it at some drunken frat party. I mean it’s possible,” Jared says, his words coming out thick and fast before he can even think about what he’s saying. “So, really, I’ve been thinking that the best thing to do would be to have sex before I go to college with someone I care about. Someone who’s not a boyfriend. That way I wouldn’t always be worried about being with someone cus I’ll already have done it. And if, say, this guy were my best friend I know he’d take care of me and it would still be special because we’d care about each other. Even if it’s not in that way...” Jared comes to a stop and risks a quick glance up at Jensen through his bangs before returning his eyes back to the bed spread.

“Jared,” Jensen starts, “are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

“Yes,” Jared replies instantly before changing to a, “no. I don’t know. What do you think I’m suggesting?” Jared feels the blush rising in his cheeks and knows that there’s no way he can get out of this now.

“Jared, do you want me to be your first?” Jensen asks carefully.

Jared lets out a huff of air. “Well it makes sense. You’re my best friend so I know it’ll mean something and won’t just be some random hook-up. And I know you have some experience so you know what you’re doing and you’ll take care of me. There’s no one in the world I’d trust with this more than you, Jensen.” Jared manages to lift his eyes and hold Jensen’s gaze this time.

“I dunno, Jared...” Jensen starts. “I don’t want things to change or get awkward between us. And I really don’t want you to regret this later on...”

“I won’t I swear,” Jared says vehemently. “A person’s first time is never gonna be perfect but this might get pretty close because there won’t be all the expectations of love and everything. And it won’t change anything between us, I promise. It’ll just be about sex. It won’t affect our friendship at all,” Jared finishes, looking at Jensen intently.

Jensen sighs, looking at the hopeful, yet determined look on his best friend’s face. “Okay,” Jensen lets out on another sigh.

Jared jumps off the bed and wraps his arms tightly around Jensen. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Calm down Jared,” Jensen says with a chuckle.

“Right.” Jared takes a step back and looks at Jensen expectantly.

“Now?!” Jensen damn near screeches.

“No!” Jared laughs. “I still want it to be a little special. And having the possibility of your mom walking in at any second is so not special.”

“Definitely not,” Jensen agrees. “So... Did you have any ideas about how you wanted to do this?”

“Um, well. Now that I’ve made the decision I kinda wanna get it over with... That came out wrong,” Jared hurries to say when Jensen pulls a face. “I just. I guess I don’t want to over think it too much cus then I’ll psych myself out and chicken out. Neither of our parents are going out of town any time soon and I don’t really like the idea of doing it when they’re home, or if they could come home at any second...” Jared sees Jensen nodding his agreement, “I guess we could get a hotel or something?”

“Yeah, I guess. And our parents probably wouldn’t think too much about us staying the night somewhere seeing as we’re just friends. Maybe not mention that we’d be staying at a hotel... Just tell them we’re staying the night at Chris’s or something.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jared says thoughtfully. “You can say you’ll be at Chris’s and I’ll say I’m at Chad’s.”

“Sounds like a plan, I guess.”

“Okay, I’m gonna go home and search for hotel rooms,” Jared says excitedly and presses a kiss to Jensen’s cheek before grinning and rushing out the door going back over to his own house.

~*~

“Okay, so I’ve found a place that actually looks really nice but isn’t too pricey. And it’s a proper hotel too, not just some shabby motel. I want my first time to be in style,” Jared greets, and flops down on Jensen’s bed.

Jensen just chuckles. “Alright. When are we plannin’ on doin’ this?”

“I dunno,” Jared replies, worrying his bottom lip. “When do _you_ wanna?”

“I don’t really mind Jared. The family hasn’t got anything goin’ on so there’s nothin’ I gotta do or anythin’. Whenever’s good for you Jay.”

“Um, Saturday okay? I mean that would probably make sense cus that’s the day people usually go to friends’ places and parties and stuff... So should I book the room for Saturday?” Jared asks, looking suddenly nervous.

“Yeah, Saturday’s great.” Jensen smiles reassuringly at his friend.

“Okay,” Jared says, letting out a breath and smiling. “Are we, um, splitting the price of the room or am I paying for it? And I’m totally okay with paying for it on my own seeing as this was all my idea in the first place,” Jared rushes to add.

Jensen smiles at Jared affectionately. “I’m alright to split it. After all, I did agree to this whole thing.”

“Okay. I’ll, uh. I’ll go book it then?” Jared says, not really sounding all that certain and chewing on his lip again.

Jensen just nods before seeing Jared yet again rushing out his bedroom door.

~*~

Jared leaves his house on Saturday afternoon with an over-night bag, saying a quick goodbye to his momma, and gets into Jensen’s car so that he can drive them to the hotel.

The drive there is a little awkward, the pair of them trying to make uncomfortable small talk. When they pull into the hotel parking lot, Jared’s pretty pleased with the hotel he’d booked. It is a nice looking building and appears to be well kept, which Jared always believes is a plus when it came to buildings. If the outside of the building is kept up, you could bet the inside is too.

In the few days between booking the hotel room and actually arriving at the hotel, Jared’s nerves have started to kick in. He’s not regretting his decision and he still thinks it’s a good idea but that doesn’t stop him from feeling an anxious flutter in his stomach.

The lobby of the hotel matches the exterior; everything looks well kept and it’s surprisingly fancy for how much they’d paid for it.

Jensen goes over to the reception desk to check them in and then he takes Jared’s hand and leads him over to the elevator.

Jensen presses the button for their floor and turns to smile reassuringly at Jared.

The room itself isn’t all that fancy: just a King sized bed, a desk, a chair, a TV, and armchair and a door leading into a fairly small private bathroom. It’s clean and has a nice big bed so that’s all Jared really cares about.

Once the boys have settled into the room, putting all their stuff down and exploring what they can, an air of awkwardness settles in around them. They lapse into an uncomfortable silence that Jared really isn’t used to around Jensen. If they were actually a couple things would probably just happen naturally, but as it is, they don’t really know what to do.

“Ya hungry?” Jensen asks, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “We could order room service?”

“Sure,” Jared agrees, reaching over to browse the menu.

When the food arrives, they turn on the TV and sit on the large bed, eating their food while watching it. Things are feeling way less awkward now; it feels like how it usually is between them. How it’s _supposed_ to feel between them. They chatter away like they usually do, laughing along to the episode of _Family Guy_ that’s on, and commenting on what’s happening.

They finish eating and Jensen turns off the TV when the credits start to roll across the screen.

“So,” Jensen says, turning to look at Jared.

Jared chews on his bottom lip feeling the nerves that had subsided slightly ratchet up into an even higher gear than they were before.

Jensen reaches over, smiling fondly, and pulls Jared’s lip from between his teeth. He leans in slowly, giving Jared plenty of time to move away, and presses his lips to Jared’s in a chaste but firm kiss.

Jensen pulls back to study Jared’s expression and when he sees no sign of hesitation he leans in again, this time slightly more forcefully.

He presses Jared backwards onto the mattress, leaning over him and secures his lips once more over Jared’s. The kisses soon turn heated, Jensen’s tongue slipping out to meet Jared’s.

Jensen smoothes his hand down Jared’s t-shirt and slips his hand just under the hem. When he receives no protest from Jared, he moves his hand further up, his thumb rubbing over Jared’s nipple until he feels it peak.

He pulls back and grips the hem of Jared’s shirt, silently asking him for permission. At Jared’s small nod, Jensen pulls the top off and over Jared’s head before ridding himself of his own top.

Jensen starts trailing kisses down Jared’s body, starting at his pulse point and nipping and sucking along his collarbone. Jensen smiles when he hears Jared letting out a small moan.

Jensen works his way further down, lavishing attention to each of Jared’s nipples while his hands rest on the waistband of Jared’s jeans. He works his fingers over to the zipper and unbuttons Jared’s jeans before slowly lowering the zip.

Jared tenses slightly so Jensen gives pause before Jared lifts his hips ever so slightly so that Jensen can slip his jeans off his hips.

Jensen returns to kissing Jared, their tongues clashing, Jared giving full control of the kiss over to Jensen. He slips his hand into Jared’s boxers and takes Jared’s hard cock into his hand.

Jared grips Jensen’s arm tightly and Jensen knows this is the furthest Jared’s ever been with anybody. Jensen gently shushes Jared, pressing more kisses to his lips while starting a slow stroke on Jared’s cock.

Jensen can feel Jared’s hand hesitantly working its way down his body to his trousers. Jensen leans back, studying Jared’s face before ridding himself of his pants and boxers before helping Jared with his last remaining item of clothing as well.

When they are both completely naked, Jensen leans down and starts a gentle thrusting motion of his hips against Jared’s, causing their cocks to rub together. Jared lets out what sounds to be a bit of a whimper and once again grabs hold of Jensen’s arm.

When Jensen pulls back, Jared makes a little whining noise, which makes Jensen smile. “I’ll be back soon. Just grabbin’ supplies.”

At the mention of supplies, Jared tenses slightly and starts biting his lip again. Jensen sets the condom and bottle of lube down on the mattress beside Jared and pulls his lip from between his teeth again.

“It’s okay Jared,” Jensen says softly, as if trying not to spook him. “You can back out of this anytime you want to. Just say the word and I’ll stop.”

Jared quickly shakes his head. “No, I want to. I do. I’m just nervous.” Jared lets out a nervous little chuckle as if to prove his point.

“Alright, but seriously, if at any point you wanna stop, tell me. Tell me and I’ll stop. I don’t wanna do anything you don’t want me to do.”

Jared smiles at the concern his friend is showing for him and pulls him down into a kiss.

“I promise. I’ll tell you if I wanna stop. I really am just nervous though.”

“That’s okay,” Jensen smiles and leans down to kiss Jared. “I was nervous my first time, and I wasn’t on the receiving end.”

Jared smiles. “Okay,” he says, as if trying to strengthen his resolve.

Jensen can tell that Jared is still really apprehensive so he bends down and takes Jared’s dick into his mouth. Jared moans at the first swirl of Jensen’s tongue around the head of his cock, his head tilting backwards into the pillow.

Just as Jensen had hoped, Jared starts to relax so he reaches out for the lube and drizzles some onto his fingers. He starts by just rubbing the tip of his index finger around Jared’s puckered hole. He can feel Jared tense for a moment before he relaxes back down.

Reassured that Jared’s not going to put on the brakes, Jensen slips just the tip of his index finger into Jared’s ass. Jared moans quietly at the contact and presses down towards it ever so slightly. Jensen pulls off of Jared’s dick with a slick pop and inserts his finger all the way and starts gently working it in and out of Jared.

Jared is moaning quietly almost constantly so Jensen adds a little more lube to his fingers and adds a second one.

When the two fingers breach Jared’s opening, he tenses slightly and lets out a bit of a pained noise.

“Ssh, Jay. I got ya,” Jensen says soothingly, working the two fingers in slowly with starting a gentle stroke up Jared’s dick with his other hand.

The tension eases out of Jared’s body and Jensen finds it easier to work his fingers in and out.

Jensen takes his time prepping Jared, trying to make sure that his friend won’t feel any pain or discomfort.

When Jensen can easily work three fingers into Jared he pulls them out and gives a quiet chuckle at the soft whine that Jared lets slip.

Jensen makes quick work of getting the condom on his dick and slicks it up, making sure there’s a generous amount of lube.

He leans over Jared, bracing himself on his forearm, kisses Jared tenderly and pulls back slightly to speak.

“I know what you’re going to ask so I’ll save the trouble and tell you that I’m fine, and I want this,” Jared says before Jensen can even open his mouth.

Jensen chuckles under his breath, “I think we probably know each other too well.”

“Which is why you’re the perfect person to be doing this with,” Jared says softly, gazing intently into Jensen’s green eyes.

Jensen kisses Jared soundly and lifts his legs up to rest around his waist. At Jared’s nod, he pushes just the head of his dick into Jared.

Jared breaks of the kiss with a gasp, feeling a burning sensation where Jensen’s entering him.

“Ssh,” Jensen soothes. “I’m sorry. It’ll get better, I swear.” Jensen hates seeing that pained expression on Jared’s face.

“I’m okay,” Jared says, biting his lip. “Just. Go slowly?”

Jensen nods, kisses Jared and sinks ever so slowly into Jared’s tight channel until he’s fully seated against Jared’s ass. He stays still then, resisting the urge to thrust, letting Jared get used to the sensation.

After what feels like ages to Jensen, but what is probably only a minute or two, Jared says, “Okay, I’m ready. Move.”

Jensen sets up a painfully slow rhythm at first, making sure that Jared is as comfortable as he can be. He adjusts his angle slightly and he knows he’s hit the right spot when he hears Jared moan out an “oh!”

Jensen quickens his pace and slips his forearm under Jared’s shoulder to bring him closer to him. He cups Jared’s jaw with his other hand and kisses him passionately.

Jensen can feel that he’s getting close so he strokes the hand cupping Jared’s jaw down the length of Jared’s body and wraps it around his dick. Jared moans at the first touch, bucking up into Jensen’s grip. Jensen can tell that his friend is close so he makes sure to angle his thrusts so that he’s hitting Jared’s prostate on every thrust.

Jared’s letting out a constant stream of moans now and he can feel his balls draw up before he’s spurting all over Jensen’s hand and his own stomach.

Jensen can feel the walls of Jared’s channel contracting around his dick as he comes and the pressure makes Jensen groan and thrust hard into Jared’s hole, coming just a few thrust later, filling the condom.

When he’s come down from his orgasm, Jensen gently pulls out, comforting Jared with a kiss when he makes a small sound of discomfort.

Jensen quickly gets rid of the condom and gets a cloth the wipe up the mess on Jared’s stomach.

After he has returned the washcloth to the bathroom, Jensen crawls onto the bed, pulling up the duvet to cover him and Jared and pulls Jared into his arms.

Jared looks up into Jensen’s eyes and smiles at him; a smile full of affection. “Thank you, Jensen,” he says softly and kisses his best friend before snuggling into his side, his head resting on Jensen’s shoulder and his arm slung across Jensen’s stomach, and going to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

When Jared awakes the next morning, he’s still snuggled close against Jensen’s side, Jensen’s arm wrapped around his shoulders.

Jared smiles when he sees that Jensen is still fast asleep. He glances over at the clock on the bottom of the TV and sees that it’s only just a little after eight in the morning. Experience tells him that it’ll still be quite awhile before Jensen returns to the land of the living.

A buffet breakfast is included in the price of the room and Jared is keen to take full advantage of that. Breakfast finishes at 11 though so he supposes that there’s no point in trying to stir Jensen right now and instead tries to get a few more hours sleep before going down to breakfast.

Jared snuggles back into Jensen’s side but doesn’t go back to sleep. Instead he lies there, comfortable in Jensen’s arms and thinks.

He thinks about what happened last night; what they did last night.

It was so much better than Jared had thought it would be. From most of the things he’d read on the internet, he’d thought that most first time experiences were a disappointment. He doesn’t think his is though. Jensen was so sweet and gentle with him – much more than he could’ve asked for out of his first time. The whole way through Jensen’s green eyes had been locked with his and Jared had felt so cared for; maybe even loved.

Jared shakes his head at that thought. He knows that Jensen loves him, and he loves Jensen. They just don’t love each other in _that_ way.  

Jared looks up from where his head has been resting on Jensen’s shoulder. His best friend really is beautiful, especially when he’s sleeping; his face looks so relaxed, freckles scattered over his nose and cheeks, his lips slightly parted. Jared really wants kiss him.

He sits up abruptly. _What?_ That thought had come out of nowhere. He’s never had romantic feelings towards his friend before. At least…not that’s aware of... He supposes that it must be some sort of residual feeling from the night before. 

Suddenly Jared doesn’t want to just lie around in bed until Jensen wakes up. He gets out of bed, grabs his over-night bag and goes into the bathroom to take a shower.

When he’s showered and changed, Jared walks back out into the main room to see Jensen still sound asleep.

It’s still only nine thirty but Jared is getting bored so he goes over to the side of the bed and starts poking Jensen in the stomach.

Jensen groans and starts slapping at Jared’s hand so Jared, of course, starts poking harder.

“Jared, cut it out,” Jensen grumbles, still not opening his eyes.

“But I’m bored!” Jared whines petulantly. “Get up and come have breakfast with me!”

Jensen opens one eye and glares daggers at Jared. “You’re not going to leave me alone till I get up, are ya?”

“Nope,” Jared replies, annoying smile on his lips.

Jensen groans and heaves himself out of the bed like it’s some massive hardship.

Jared blushes and looks away when he sees that Jensen isn’t wearing anything under the covers. Jensen just chuckles and says, “Come on, Jay. After what happened last night, you’d think you’d be able to look at my dick without blushing like some teenage girl.”

Jared just continues to look the other way as Jensen makes his way, chuckling, into the bathroom.

~*~

Jared and Jensen are laying spread out on Jensen’s bed. It’s been a few weeks since they’d been at the hotel and Jensen’s parents are out taking Mackenzie somewhere – Jensen hadn’t really been paying attention as to where.

“I’m bored,” Jared complains, somewhere to Jensen’s right. 

“Shut up and watch the movie,” says Jensen, not taking his eyes from the screen.

“The movie’s boring!” Jared whines, starting to sound petulant.

Jensen sighs and presses the ‘pause’ button on his remote. “Okay, fine. Whadaya wanna do?” Jensen asks, knowing that it’s just so much easier to give in to Jared now than wait and be pestered for half an hour before giving in anyway.

“I dunno,” Jared shrugs. He then rolls over onto his side so that he’s facing Jensen. “Y’know I seem to remember you giving me a blow job, but I didn’t return the favor…”

That makes Jensen splutter. “You wanna give me a blow job?” Jensen definitely does not squeak.

Jared shrugs. “Sure. Why not? Nobody’s here and I gotta learn how to give a blow job at some point. What’s the point of not being a virgin if I can’t even suck someone off?”

“Um, okay?” Jensen says uncertainly.

“Yeah?” Jared asks for confirmation, a smile lighting up his face.

At Jensen’s shrug, Jared moves down Jensen’s body towards his waistband and gently pushes Jensen’s top up a bit. He then opens the button on Jensen’s jeans and lowers the zipper, biting his lip as he does.

It’s pretty obvious that Jared’s never done this before as he reaches hesitantly into Jensen’s boxers and pulls out his cock.

Jared licks his lips and then licks a long stripe from the base of Jensen’s cock to the head, looking up into Jensen’s eyes as if to ask if what he’s doing is okay.

When Jensen lets out a soft moan, Jared takes just the tip of Jensen’s cock into his mouth and sucks, swirling his tongue around the head as he does so. Jared licks from the base to the tip again, his hand coming up to hold the base of Jensen’s cock when his tongue has left. Jared takes Jensen into his mouth again this time trying to take more of Jensen in. He hollows his checks around Jensen’s girth and works his tongue along the shaft as he does so.

Jared keeps looking up into Jensen’s face to make sure that what he’s doing is right and that it feels good for Jensen. Right now though, Jensen’s head is thrown back into the pillow and his eyes are clenched shut. Jared presumes that that means that he’s doing a good job.

Jared tries to take more of Jensen into his mouth but starts gagging, so he pulls off spluttering.

“Sorry,” Jared mutters, stroking his hand up and down Jensen’s cock.

Jensen lifts his hand and cups the back of Jared’s head, which Jared takes to mean that he’s doing fine and should continue.

Jared takes Jensen back into his mouth, being careful not to take too much in this time. He hollows his cheeks and what he can’t fit in his mouth, he strokes with his hand, his other hand coming up to cup Jensen’s balls.

Jensen lets out a long moan and says, “Fuck, Jay. Fuck, I’m gonna come.”

Jared takes that as his cue to lift off and then he just strokes Jensen through his orgasm, streams of white come cover his hand and a few drops landing on Jensen’s jeans.

When Jensen looks down at Jared, the younger boy is looking rather pleased with himself which makes Jensen snigger. “Yeah, I think you’re gonna do just fine. Come ‘ere,” Jensen motions for Jared to come back up the bed, “Let me help you with that,” he says, gesturing at Jared’s crotch.

Jared lies on his side facing Jensen and the other boy reaches forward, undoes Jared’s jeans and pulls out Jared’s cock.

Jensen’s strokes are sure and firm, his wrist twisting on the upstroke. It doesn’t take long before Jared’s moaning out his own release, coming over Jensen’s fist.

They lie there for a minute just catching their breaths. Suddenly Jared laughs softly and says, “Well I’m not bored anymore,” making them both burst into giggles.

~*~

The summer continues much like that; Jared and Jensen just hanging out like they usually do, just sometimes they have sex instead of watching a movie or playing Madden. 

Jared rather likes the arrangement they’ve got going on. Their friendship hasn’t really changed all that much, Jared doesn’t think. They still hang out with their friends; rib each other while playing video games; everything they used to do before sex was involved. Jared thinks their friendship hasn’t changed all that much because the sex is just that: it’s just sex; a purely physical act that has nothing to do with emotions.

Jared truly believes that until one day he walks into Jensen’s room and asks, “Hey, wanna hang out?”

Jensen looks up from where he’s digging through his wardrobe. “Can’t. Have a date,” Jensen smirks.

Jared feels like something tight has just wrapped around his heart, squeezing it tightly. “A date?” Jared asks, hoping that Jensen doesn’t hear the slight quiver in his voice.

“Yeah,” Jensen says, stepping away from his wardrobe with a clean shirt. “I bumped into Justin, y’know Justin Hartley? And he said that he heard that me and Shane broke up so he asked me out,” Jensen exchanges the top that he is wearing for the one he has pulled out of his wardrobe.

“Oh, cool,” Jared replies, trying to sound as though he’s happy for his friend.

“Yeah. Well, I gotta go; I’m running late as is. See ya later Jay.” And just like that, Jensen’s out the door.

Jared slumps down on the end of Jensen’s bed. He doesn’t really understand why he’s feeling like this. He and Jensen have both dated other people before and it’s never made him feel like this.

Jared thinks back to the many moments he and Jensen have had together that summer. He thinks of his first time: how gentle and caring Jensen was with him; how he kept his green gaze locked with Jared the whole time and how his thumb stroked along Jared’s jaw when he had felt discomfort.

And every time since then, even the times when they haven’t been all that gentle, they’ve never broken eye contact during sex and they’ve always shared sweet, gentle kisses along with the rough, passionate ones.

Jared thinks of how in the eight months that he and Austin had been dating, he had never once even let Austin put his hand under Jared’s shirt. And yet, once he’d made the decision to have sex with Jensen, he had absolutely no qualms about it.

Every time that he and Jensen have had sex it’s been exactly how Jared thought sex would be; sex with a loving partner that is.

The thought hits Jared hard, like being hit by a freight train: he is completely and utterly, head over heels in love with his best friend.

_ Crap, _ Jared thinks.

~*~

Justin becomes quite the regular fixture within their group. Whenever they’re all hanging out together, Justin’s there, hanging off of Jensen’s arm.

Ever since Jared’s revelation, he just can’t bring himself to be nice to Justin; and Jared’s nice to everyone! He thinks his friends are starting to pick up on his vibes because Jared truly is a good Texas boy, through and through. His momma raised his right; to be polite and respectful towards everyone. 

He just can’t where Justin is concerned though. When everyone is just hanging out watching a movie, Jensen and Justin are curled up together, giggling and making out. It makes Jared feel physically ill. 

What makes it hurt all that much more is that Jared knows that Jensen can’t possibly feel the same about him. If there is even the slightest possibility that Jensen feels for Jared as more than just a friend, there’s no way he would have agreed to go out with Justin. They were having sex on a regular basis; if Jensen had wanted more it wouldn’t have been hard for them to transition into something more.

Jared’s just generally miserable. He doesn’t hang out with Jensen just the two of them anymore; it’s just too painful being so close to Jensen and knowing that he can’t have him.

It’s coming to the end of the summer now and Chad’s throwing a big party as sort of a send-off to college.

Jared’s sitting by himself on the sofa nursing his fifth, no, sixth beer? He’s planning on getting as drunk as he possibly can. From where he’s sitting he can see Jensen and Justin across the room, Justin pressed up against the wall, Jensen’s lips attached to his throat.

“Hey, Jayman!” Chad says much louder than was called for, slumping down next to him on the couch. “What’s up?” He slings an arm around Jared’s shoulders.

“Nothin’,” Jared mumbles, draining what’s left of his beer.

“Uh huh,” Chad remarks unbelievingly. “Which is why you’re glaring daggers at Jensen’s new boy over there.”

Jared looks over at Chad but doesn’t bother disagreeing. “I’ma get another beer,” Jared mutters, getting to his feet and making his way through the crowd to get to the kitchen where all the booze is being kept.

After another few beer, along with a couple of shots which may have been tequila, (Sambuca, maybe?), Jared stumbles out of the bathroom and runs smack into Jensen.

“Jared, hey,” Jensen starts. He doesn’t seem all that happy to Jared. “What’s been goin’ on with you, man?”

“I’unno what your talkin’ ‘bout,” Jared slurs back in reply.

“Yeah, ya do, Jared,” Jensen says, before pulling Jared off to the side, out of the way of other people walking down the corridor. “Seriously this isn’t like you,” Jensen continues. “For starters, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink this much; you’re being rude to Justin which is so from what you’re usually like; and you’ve stopped hangin’ out with me, man.”

“We hang out all the time,” Jared contradicts. “We hung out yesterday.”

“Yeah we still hang out as a group but it’s never just you and me anymore.” Jensen seems genuinely upset by this, Jared muses.

“And whose fault is that?” Jared demands, a little more heatedly than intended.

Jensen shrinks back a bit at Jared’s tone. “Whadaya mean? Is this about Justin? Seriously, what is your problem with him?” Jensen demands.

Jared looks away from Jensen for a moment and when he looks back his eyes are starting to fill with tears. “You! You are my problem with him!”

“I dunno what you mean,” Jensen says confusedly.

“I love you, Jensen.” Tears begin to spill from his eyes. “I love you, and it hurts so much to see you with him. And it just hurts to be around you, knowing that you chose him over me.”

Jensen just stands there, mouth opening and closing but no words coming out.

“So, that’s what’s goin’ on with me,” Jared snuffles when Jensen fails to say anything.

Jared turns away from Jensen, tears coursing down his cheeks, and makes his way out of the party. Jensen doesn’t follow him. He doesn’t even call after him.

~*~

Jared wakes up the next morning with puffy eyes after having cried himself to sleep. To make things that much worse, Jared has a hangover to deal with as well. He knows he shouldn’t have drunk as much as he did the night before but it seemed like a good idea at the time. And he definitely shouldn’t have blurted everything out to Jensen like he did. Their friendship is going to be ruined now. 

Jared’s eyes start welling up with more tears and he wants nothing more than to curl up in bed and never emerge. So that’s what he does.

He can’t, however, stop the flow of thoughts and memories going through his head. He thought back to when he had first approached Jensen asking him to be his first. He had promised Jensen that nothing would change between them. He supposes he’s broken that promise now.

Jared’s interrupted from his thoughts by a knock on his bedroom door.

“Go away, mom!” Jared calls out, hoping she doesn’t notice the waver in his voice.

Despite his words, his bedroom door opens and he hears someone come in.

Jared rolls over on his bed and starts to stay, “I said, go-“ but he’s pulled up short when it’s not his momma standing in his room. It’s Jensen.

“Hey, Jay,” Jensen says gently as he makes his way further into the room.

Jared hurriedly wipes at his eyes, not wanting Jensen to know he’d been crying. Stupid, really, seeing as it’s probably pretty obvious anyway. Especially to Jensen.

“What do you want?” Jared demands, voice slightly hoarse from crying.

Jensen sits down awkwardly on Jared’s desk chair next to Jared’s bed and says, “So I broke up with Justin last night.”

That definitely gets Jared’s attention. “What? Why?”

“Well,” Jensen starts, “my best friend kinda told me he loves me…” That makes Jared blush and look down awkwardly. “And it kinda made me realize that I love him too.”

Jared’s head snaps up. “Really?” he asks, a hint of hope lacing his words and hating that tears are building, yet again, in his eyes.

“Yeah. Kinda hopelessly in love really. I just hate that it took him telling me how he feels to make me realize it.” Jensen moves over to sit on the side of Jared’s bed. “I love you, Jared. And I am so, so sorry.”

“What for?” Jared asks, concerned that Jensen’s about to take it all back and say that he doesn’t want to be with him.

“I’m sorry for hurtin’ you, Jay. I can’t believe it took me so long to realize. Of course I love you, Jay. You’re my best friend in the world and you mean the world to me. And I hate that I hurt you,” he says earnestly.

A slow smile builds on Jared’s face. “It’s okay. I’m sure you’ll make it up to me.”

Jared fists his hand in Jensen’s top and pulls him down into a gentle kiss. Jensen doesn’t even hesitate to follow.

The End


End file.
